Narrator, speaking into camera:
"IMAGINE THERE IS A HEAVEN! Well it is quite easy to do! Don't you
think there is Heaven out there somewhere? Well, I sure hope so! If
not, I'm gonna quit! Why live this suffering life with all its problems
and trials here, if it's all gonna go down the drain some day! All
that you learned, experienced and gained! Poof! Gone!"
(struggles along the beach, speaking into camera...)
QUESTION! "Is there a heaven?"
(A fellow sprawled in a deckchair on the beach, cocktail in hand, overhearing him, says:)
"It sure is, man! Hello there! Welcome to my Paradise! I'm in Heaven here! No work! All these pretty girls are mine! Nice food & drinks, nookies, beautiful beach, sea and sun! What else do you want? I'm gonna stay here forever. I bought that luxurious beach villa over there, and am very happy! See ya! Ta! "
Guy: "Come on girls! Let's go for a swim!"
Girls: "Naaah! Wee don laik!"
Guy: "Ahh! Come Ooon...! Let's go for a swim!
Girls: "NOH! NOH! NOH! WEE DON LAIK!"
(Gets up and walks toward the water!)
Guy: "AAALL RIGHT! I'll GO ALONE THEN!!"
(Steps on sharp beach toy!): "YOOOOOW! Aaayaaaai!"
(At last dives into the waves! Hits an (Australian!) swimmer coming up, who angrily curses him! Suddenly! A sharkfin appears! Our friendly hedonist running out of the water, happens to step on a crab, that of course... pinches his toe! Finally he comes hopping in pain holding his toe, back to his deckchair... But, lo and behold ... the girls ... are GONE! And so are his money, creditcards and... videocamera!
Narrator (leaving the dismal scene): "Well,
so much for this kind of earthly Heaven, where Nature, Selfishness,
Sin and Suffering seem to kind of habitually spoil any remains of
a Heaven on Earth or Garden of Eden we had many many moons ago!
(A door with "The Great Principle" on it, opens up wide. A dude goes in! Low reverberating voice speaks:)
"Welcome! Welcome! I am the great principle behind it all! I am NOT God! There IS no God!"
Dude: "Uh..Excuse me Sir! But I was wondering! I am kinda lonely, you know? Kinda heartbroken and spiritually destitute! I could really need some help, as I really don't know how to be happy! Could you perhaps help me?"
(Big finger from Great Principle points at him and low voice says: )
GP: "The Great Principle can't help you! The Great Principle is: 'Help YOURSELF! Save YOURSELF! Walk the middle way! Be at peace with yourself and others. Do good! Don't do bad! Find and be your true self. And then...YOU are God!'"Dude: "I tried all that already, Great Principle! But... I am still not happy!
GP: "Happy?? Did you say HAPPY??? HA HA HA!
You sure sound like a beginner! Don't you get it yet? You see, so-called
happiness is merely the opposite of so-called misery! Desire and want
are the very cause of all suffering and Karma! If you want to find
perfection, then you should NOT DESIRE! DESIRING is the cause of all
suffering! Just DON'T DESIRE, and you will NOT SUFFER!"
GP: "Meditate on it!--On the mystery! Not me! I don't even exist! I am just a figment of your imagination! Seek ENLIGHTMENT! Become enlightened! Don't DESIRE anymore! (Voice fades away!) Follow the path...to Oneness..Nirwana......
Dude: "Hmmm... Follow the path! Allright! Well, I will cut all my desires, no more steaks! Eat herbs! No more sex! Goodbye girlfriend! Live in a shack! Meditate and... wait... for Enlightment! Zennn!!
Dude: "Wooow!!! I see it all. I understand all! No desire, no pain!
No want... no sweat! No woman... no cry! No male...no female! No lust...
no pleasure! No right... no wrong! No left... no right! NO good...
no bad! No absolutes! No Hell...no Heaven! Nothingnesssssssssssss......
"Well, we won't see him around much longer! He's a goner. Gone with
the principle! He has become the principle! Lucky guy! He escaped
ALL the suffering.
(Suddenly dude comes back.)
Nar: "Well, look at you? What have you been doing and where have you been?
D: "Nothing and Nowhere!Nar: "Ah ya! I understand! (Puzzled look in the camera!) Well, what was it like?"
D: "I ceased to exist! It was boring as Hell, except for the lectures at the cultural centres and when I got visitors for my Holy Wisdom at my humble hut in the high Himalayas! Especially the shelas! But that, of course, was against the great principle!"
D. "Because that was enjoyment and lust and pleasure, from which I am supposed to have escaped! Besides... the money......the money! It got to me, you know! The honorariums I was getting! I was doing more lectures than meditation!"
N: "So what you wanna do now?"
D: "I don't know anymore. I'm not really happy... but I am not supposed
to be happy, as that is not really according to my religion, so I
cannot really look for it either! Not to mention PLEASURE! I can't
even think of it! Well that is...to tell you the truth...I DO
think of it! Almost all the time!
N: "Aw, I'm so sorry! Don't cry! We'll… Let me see how can I help
D: (sob) "What Master is that!? (sniff)
N: "My great Master, He
D: "Life??? More abundantly??? Oh, but that's the opposite of Death, subject to Karma again!"
N: "Well... I don't know about all your fancy Karma stuff! I am not as smart as you! But my Master said that we may have LIFE! And that we may have it more ABUNDANTLY! LIFE!!! You know? He believes in LIFE! Not in reducing life and all its opposites! But making life a more abundant life!"
D: "Ooh no! But...No! 'Cause that leads to more suffering! I can't do that! I can not afford that!"
N: "OK then! Tell me this! Does great health lead to more sickness? "Or does great sickness, lead to more Health?"
D: "No, uh… great sickness leads mostly towards death!"
N: "EXACTLY! YOU said it! DEATH! DEATH is the enemy! But Death is going to stop one day, and there will only be LIFE left! So that we are not even aware of it anymore. We will have escaped death, as it will be eliminated! "There will be no more death," said my Master!"
D: "Hmm interesting! Never saw it that way!" Hmmm! Now I see why you're so happy and relaxed, without even being so religious! You believe in life... without death! So you can also enjoy life! Right?"
N: "Sure! In THIS life,
and more abundantly in the life to come!
D: "Wow! (wipes his eyes) That sounds so cool! And who IS this great Master?"
(Narrator sings) "Beyond the door... there's peace I'm sure... and there'll be no more... tears in Heaven!'"
D: "Eric CLAPTON???!!"
N: "YES! I mean... NO! You mean my great Master?
N: "JESUS! Jesus of Nazareth! Eric Clapton got it from Him! From the Bible!
D: "The Bible?"
N: "Yes! Wanna hear some more about Heaven? From the Bible?"
D: "Yeah! Sure man! Sounds good! Uhm... by the way...Are there gonna be any shelas, like I mean, girls in Heaven?..."
N: "Well uhm, I'm sure Mary Magdalene is there!--She used to be a pro you know? And then there is this girl called Suzanna! It says that she ministered unto Jesus from her... substance!
(Voices trailing off...) D: "Wow! Way to go! Cool! I think I like your religion. Tell me more about this Great Master.........
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