A Documentary
"Is There Really a Heaven Somewhere?"

Narrator, speaking into the camera:

"I sure hope so! If not, I'm gonna quit! Why go through all this shitty life, with all its problems and trials, when it's all gonna go down the drain one of these days! If there is no heaven, some people might make their own Heaven here on Earth!"

(As he walks along the beach! Speaking into the camera...)

"Is there a heaven? Some people think so! They think it's here on Earth!"

(Guy lying in a deckchair on the beach with a drink, overhearing him, says:)

"It sure is man! Hello there! Welcome to Paradise! I'm in Heaven! No work, all these pretty girls are mine, nice food & drinks, beautiful beach, sea and sun, I'm gonna stay here forever. I bought that beach villa over there, and am very happy!"

"Come on, let's go for a swim, girls!"

Girls: "Nah!"

Guy: "Ahh, Come Ooon... let's go for a swim!

Girls: "NO NO NO!"

Guy: "ALLRIGHT! I'll go alone!"

(Steps on a sharp child beach toy!)

"YOW! Ayaaaa!"

He dives in the water! An angry swimmer comes up and curses him! Suddenly a sharkfin appears! He runs out of the water, steps on a crab that pinches his toe, and comes back skipping in pain to his deckchair, but finds the girls gone, who have also stolen his videocamera and money...)


Narrator: "Well, so much for this kind of Heaven! Where Nature, Selfishness, Sin, and Suffering kind of regularly spoil the remains of the Heaven on Earth that we once had in the Garden of Eden, many many years ago!
And thus, many people have tried to overcome these obstacles: Nature, Selfishness, Sin, and Suffering with the help of "great principles", in order to find this "Paradise Lost", or a "Nirwana" here on Earth!
Kind of like the following scenario..."The Great Principle!"

(A door with "The Great Principle!" Door opens. A guy goes in! A very low reverberating voice speaks:)

"Welcome! I am the great principle behind it all! I am NOT God! There IS no God!"

"Excuse me Sir, but I am lonely, heartbroken and spiritually destitute, I really need some help, as I don't know how to be happy! Could you please help me?"

(A big finger comes out of the great principle and says in a low voice: )

"The great principle can't help you! The great principle is: 'HELP YOURSELF! SAVE yourself! Walk the middle way! Be at peace with yourself and others. Do good and don't do bad! Find and be your true self. And then...YOU are God!'"

"I tried all that, Great Principle! But... I am still not happy!

"Happy?? Did you say HAPPY??? Ha ha ha! You sure sound like a beginner! Happiness is just the opposite of misery! Desire and lust are the cause of all suffering and Karma! If you want to be perfect then you must NOT DESIRE! DESIRE is the cause of all suffering! Just DO NOT DESIRE, and you will NOT SUFFER!"

"How, Great Principle?"

"Meditate on it!--On the mystery! Not me! I don't even exist! I am just a figment of your mind! Seek ENLIGHTMENT! Become enlightened! (Voice fades away!) Follow the Oneness..Nirwana......

"Hmmm... Follow the path! OK! I will cut all my desires, no more steak, eat herbs, no more sex, goodbye girlfriend, live in a shack, meditate and wait... for Enlightment! Zen!


"Wooow!!! I see it all. I understand all! No desire, no pain! No want... no sweat! No woman... no cry! No female! No lust... no pleasure! No right... no wrong! No left... no right! NO good... no bad! No Heaven! WOOOWW!! I am becoming the absolute principle. I am losing all opposites! I am escaping my Karma! The wheel! The dialectics! I am not becoming the absolute principle, I AM!--Spiraling ever closer! The pendulum stops swinging! I am not two! I am ONE!!! NIRWANAAAAaaaaa........!"

Narrator: "Well, we won't see him around much longer! He's a goner. Gone with the principle! He has become the principle! Lucky guy! He escaped the suffering.
The last we heard, he now lives in a little hut somewhere in the footmountains of the Himalayas, although he sometimes gives lectures in cultural centres in the West for youth and spiritual seekers, who follow him also to...ONENESS!
Actually I shouldn't say that, as there is NO word for this state, as words cease to describe the holy bliss he's found!
Therefore 99 % of us simple mortals can not really attain unto this Paradise of the perfection of Nirwana! It is only for this perfect elite! We are just doomed to Karma, endlessly having to repeat the wheel of rebirth, coming back again and again and again and again to this hell on earth, in some form or another! Maybe I as a dog... or you... as an ant!
We don't really know what Nirwana is like, or where it is or what it feels like, as there is no "what," no "where" and no "like," and no "feel!"
As the Beatles sang, "He's a real Nowhere man, living in His nowhere land, living all his nowhere plans for nobody! Nowhere man, please listen, you don't know what you're missing! Nowhere man, the world is at your command! Doesn't have a point of view! Knows not where he's going to! Isn't he a bit like me and you!"
Well he is not a BIT like me and you. He escaped us! He transcended from out of our level!

(Suddenly the guy comes back.)

"Well, look at you? What have you been doing and where have you been?

"Nothing and Nowhere!

"Ah ya! I understand! (Puzzled look in the camera!) Well, what was it like?"

"I ceased to exist! It was boring as Hell, except for the lectures at the cultural centres and when I got visitors at my hut in the Himalayas! Especially the shelas! But that was against the great principle!"


"Because that was enjoyment and lust and pleasure, from which I am supposed to have escaped! Besides... the money......the money! It got to me, you know! The honorariums I was getting! I was doing more lectures than meditation!"

"So what you wanna do now?"

"I don't know anymore. I'm not really happy... but I am not supposed to be happy, as it is not really according to my religion, so I cannot really look for it either! Not to mention PLEASURE! I can't even think of it! Well that tell you the truth...I DO think of it! Almost all the time!
"I am such a lousy follower! (voice breaking) Actually I don't know what to believe anymore! And I am afraid that I will be reincarnated as a pig... because of all my lustful fleshly desires! Boohoo! Boohoo! Boohoo!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry! But don't cry! We'll…! Let's see how can I help you!
"Of course! Why didn't I think of it sooner! You know… I have a Master too! He's maybe not as COOL as yours, but at least I know He cares about me and you!

(sob) "What Master is that!? (sniff)

"My great Master, He said:
"All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them."
"He also said,
"I am the door! By me if any man enters in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief only comes to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have LIFE, and that they might have it more ABUNDANTLY!!"

"Life??? More abundantly??? But that's the opposite of Death, subject to Karma again!"

"Well... I don't know about all your Karma stuff! I am not as smart as you! But my Master said that we may have LIFE! And that we may have it more ABUNDANTLY! LIFE!!! You know? He believes in LIFE! Not in reducing life and all its opposites! But making life a more abundant life!"

"Ooh no! But...No! Because that leads to more suffering! I can't do that! I can not afford that!"

"OK then! Tell me this! Does great health lead to more sickness? "Or does great sickness, lead to more Health?"

"No, uh… great sickness leads mostly towards death!"

"EXACTLY! YOU said it! DEATH! DEATH is the enemy! But Death is going to stop one day, and there will only be LIFE left! So that we are not even aware of it anymore. We will have escaped death, as it will be eliminated! "There will be no more death," said my Master!"

"Hmm interesting! I never saw it that way!" Hmmm! Now I see why you're so happy and relaxed, without even be religious! You believe in life... without death! So you can also enjoy life?"

"Right! In THIS life, and more abundantly in the life to come!
"Nature without corruption!
"Trees without brown leaves!
"Music without minor keys!
"Health without pain or sickness!
"Light without shadow!
"Pleasure without sin!
"Love without selfishness!
"Life without limits!
"Being without time!

"Heaven without religion?"

"Right! Paradise without churches!
"Men-and women-without limitations!
"And God shall wipe away all our tears from our eyes!"

"Wow! (wipes his eyes) That sounds so cool! And who IS this great Master?"

(Narrator sings) "Beyond the door... there's peace I'm sure... and there'll be no more... tears in Heaven!'"

"Eric CLAPTON???!!"

"YES! I mean... NO! You mean my great Master?


"JESUS! Jesus of Nazareth! Eric Clapton got it from Him! From the Bible!

"The Bible?"

"Yes! Wanna hear some more about Heaven? From the Bible?"

"Yeah! Sure man! Sounds good! Uhm... by the way...Are there gonna be any shelas, like I mean, girls in Heaven?..."

"Well uhm, I'm sure Mary Magdalene is there!--She used to be a pro you know? And then there is this girl called Suzanna! It says that she ministered unto Jesus from her... substance!

(Voices trailing off...) "Wow! Way to go! Cool! I think I like your religion. Tell me more about this Great Master.........