Book-You won't get anywhere doing that. Do you realise I am obliged to tell your parents if you write such things?

Reader-They won't care.

Book-Even so, I should tell them.

Reader-Do you have to?

Book-I'm allowed to give you one warning.

Reader-All right. Take over the narrative again. But I still want to do Tim's dialogue. I just don't understand how anyone could be bothered writing a book without a dirty bit. I thought they were compulsory.

Book-Would you like to continue.

Reader-OK. But compensate for the sexual censorship. Can I have more violence?

Book-Some. There are no restrictions on fictional violence in this country, but it's not a particularly violent story.

Reader-Do your best.

Book-Where shall I start?

Reader-Point of View Tim. The next day.